You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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