Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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