Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
