It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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