he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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