Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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