It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
