so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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