So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
