Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
