Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And then he peed in my hair
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