found the other keg... it's in the tree
nutella sex= disaster
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
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Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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