i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize