i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
