Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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