laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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