Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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