I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
