I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
