I'm going to jail i love you
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
