Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i believe in u and ur pee
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
