The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
