You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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