Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
