I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I deserve this hangover.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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