I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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