I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
