How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
