Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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