Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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