On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
