Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Non-Jews are for practice
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
