he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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