My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
