The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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