these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
