I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
