Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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