And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
