Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
