i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
