he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
