Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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