Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
