i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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