im about as happy as oj after his trial
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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