I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
