This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize