dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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