i would punch a child for taco bell
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
