Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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