I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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