Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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