i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
