i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
