There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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