i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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