Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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