I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
