farters have to be the big spoon...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
